Small Talk.

I’ve never been good at it. Its not that I lack the ability to schmooze. I just don’t enjoy it. It makes me feel like im at a speed dating event, passing through a number of people, exchanging snippits of information.
‘Hi I’m Sabbiyah, I’m 27 & I’ve got 3 kids, what about you?’
And on it goes until every subject is broached and the tennis ball drops. If you’re lucky someone else will join your convo and you can start from scratch.
I always find myself leaving events feeling dis-satisified, is it normal to want to go abit deeper?
Can I ask you how you feel about Trump being the leader of the ‘free world?’
Can I ask you if you think we are totally screwed and if you believe the world is coming to an end?
Can I ask if you’ve watched WestWorld and does it make you wonder about your own conciousness? Does it help you make sense of all the crazy shit thats going on around us?
Or can we talk about Gilmore Girls, how DOES Lorelai solve all her life problems just by gazing out into the countryside!? I lived in Barnoldswick for four years and the only ephiany I got, was that I needed to go back to work!
Oh and have you heard the five pound note is not suitable for vegitarians, and there i was celebrating the fact that i dont need to freak out everytime my son decides to chew on his pocket money. Being a Muslim is hard nowadays.
You see my problem? I want to throw a million questions at you but social etiquettes prevent me from doing so. Social media doesn’t help.
Its like everyone’s got the attention span of Dory. As soon as they’ve got what they wanted off they go to the next person. Scan through bio. Click. Scan through bio. Click. Like items on a conveyor belt ….
I was raised in an extended family network. My mums house has an open door policy. People come and go as they please. My parents would make two main dishes and a Pakistani dessert everyday when we were younger, one for us, and the other reserved for any guests who decided to visit. There was no such thing as getting a courtesy call before you had visitors. Oh no, the doorbell rang and suddenly we became hostesses. The tea would be made in a saucepan, nothing like a well brewed desi chai to get everyone relaxed, food served and all work would be put off till guests left. Hours later.
I was raised to have meaningful conversations. I was taught to never talk about myself first and to always make the other person feel valued.
‘Your guest is your king,’ my mum would often say.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying have a heart to heart with every person you meet at your office social. But is it really that difficult to delve a little deeper?
Would it make things a little more bearable, promote a little more tolerance if we asked more then ‘what do you do?.’
You’re social media profiles already tell me that, your photos on instagram map it all out for me. One quick search on google and I know more about what you do then Il probably get outta this 5 minute conversation. As J.B Priestly said ‘the more we elaborate on our means of communication, the less we communicate.’

So now, I am giving you the oppertunity to dig a little deeper.
Do you have any ideas you want to share? Is there something you feel strongly about?
Do you have a burning question that you daren’t ask in fear of offending people?
This is the chance for you, me and everyone else to…
Talk It Out.

3 Replies to “Small Talk.”

  1. I’d really like to have conversations about gender and beauty, about feeling at home in a Muslim/Islamic setting while being a Christian, how can we do more on social media and in the real world to challenge Islamophobia, would you come to my dialogue group/church, or for dinner with your family? 🙂

    1. Yes!! Absolutely. That sounds like a fantastic idea and I am all for it. Send me more details and we can arrange something.

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